I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just gargled with NyQuil
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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