The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize