So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How naked do you want me to be?
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