i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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