Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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