While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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