Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
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I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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