I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize