it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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