you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize