Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize