My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize