She is in my trunk
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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