That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize