I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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