i wish my penis had a tongue
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize