I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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