nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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