I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize