good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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