Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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