Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Randomize