Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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