Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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