Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize