So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize