I skipped work to stalk him.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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