BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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