I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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