Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
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We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
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In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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