Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize