Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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