Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
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She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
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It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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