my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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