ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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