We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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