I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
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dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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