I think my vagina is haunted
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she peed on how many people?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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