You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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