I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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