So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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