I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize