Apparently you make a good broom.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize