the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize