Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sober January is a disaster.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
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Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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