Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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