I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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