do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize