found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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