the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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